Dear Art of Connecting readers,

We hope you enjoyed thinking through the case studies in Chapter 7 and that our responses enforce and expand on yours.

--Lara and Claire

Case Study 1: Lynn and the Line Managers

Lynn is ready to get to work. She slept off and on last night on the seventeen-hour flight that arrived midmorning in Hong Kon. After checking in to her hotel, she went downstairs to work out, then had lunch delivered to her room. Now she needs to do the last piece of planning for tomorrow. Lynn is a forty-something consultant with a training and consulting company that specializes in quality. She grew up in Montana and has traveled extensively, working with clients in Europe, Asia, and South America.

Lynn has come to Hong Kong to lead a six-day session for line managers who work with the Asian division of a Fortune 500 financial company. These twenty-four line managers will be the force in this part of the world behind a new company-wide quality initiative. Over the six days, they will learn everything there is to know about the initiative: where it came from, why it makes sense, how the details will get handled. And they will learn to facilitate sessions that teach employees at all levels - above and below them - the same information. The challenge they face goes beyond mastering content. Once they've completed their facilitation training, the line managers will return to their own countries and facilitate sessions in their own languages. In those sessions, they will also aim to transform attitudes and encourage each employee to step up to a higher level of leadership and accountability.

Lynn is not a stranger to the six-day session; she ran one just last week for the American division, so she knows how to put fledgling facilitators through their paces to master the training material. But she also knows that the first three minutes of tomorrow's session are crucial, and she hasn't decided yet quite how to handle those critical moments. The managers she'll be working with come from Pakistan, India, Japan, China, Korea, Thailand, Indonesia, Bangladesh, Taiwan, and the Philippines. All speak English fairly well, so language isn't a barrier. But Asia is more historically complex and culturally diverse than most other parts of the world, and these managers come from countries with vastly different cultures and politics. Some of the countries represented have been at odds for centuries.

Those first three minutes will make all the difference. This will be the time for her to connect and build credibility with the twenty-four people she'll be leading for the rest of the week.

1. What are some of the differences Lynn needs to bridge?

Some of the ways in which Lynn differs from the participants:

• Her origins in the U.S. and the assumptions participants may make as a result of that difference
• Style differences—they’re finance people; she’s a “people person”
• Cultural, religious
• Expert vs. novice
• Possible gender differences: are most of them male?

The ways participants differ from each other:

While all the participants are Asian, they hail from countries with differing cultures, languages, religious traditions, values, customs, even infrastructure.  Their perceptions of each other are an important part of building a cohesive group for the training. Lynn should be aware that some of the countries represented—Pakistan and India, for example—have tense relations with each other. Those national differences may or may not play out in the group dynamics.  Some people in the group come from countries with widely differing approaches to gender. Male and female roles tend to be highly proscribed in some and much more flexible in others. Lynn should watch for how these cultural differences may play out in the group.

2. A good place for Lynn to start would be to clarify her intention for the first three minutes. What do you think she should try to accomplish?

Lynn should begin by stating her intention to learn from the group. She should let them know that she is aware she may unintentionally say or do things that some participants may find offensive or clumsy. She should ask in advance for their feedback and even for their indulgence and forgiveness. Her state of mind as she delivers these intentions will set the tone for the session. If she can approach the group with confidence, openness, genuine interest in her participants, and the message that we are all human and fallible, it will go a long way to building the basis for a successful seminar.

3. Move into second-person perspective for a moment. Put yourself in the chair of one of the line managers. Lynn comes to the front of the room. What would you hope to see, hear, and feel from her in the first few minutes?

“I want Lynn to be accessible. I want her to see me as an individual and to be open to my input, needs, and preferences. I want to see a smile and a calm face. I hope she dresses professionally. I want her stand in front of us and gesture with her hands so that it seems she’s reaching out to us. I want her to make eye contact with me. I want her voice to be neither tiny and quiet nor big and bold. If she conveys competence and shows that she is in charge, while keeping a sense of humor, I’ll look forward to our six days together.”

4. Which of the core principles - There's always a bridge; Curiosity is key; What you assume is what you get; Each individual is a culture; No strings attached - will be most important for Lynn to keep in mind in those first moments?

Lynn’s seminar will be chock full of differences. She’ll need to find and build many bridges to help her group create a cohesive culture. If she assumes she can do that, she’ll be using two key core principles at once. That single assumption will help her connect to the individuals in the group and help them connect with one another. If she goes into the experience with no expectations other than to learn and adapt, no strings attached, she’ll be open to allowing her group to influence her as much as she influences them. When they see her changing in response to their input, but not placing expectations on them to respond in a particular way, she’ll earn their respect and confidence.

Case Study 2: Joe and the New Kid

Joe, fifty-eight years old, has worked in the corporate offices of a well-known company in the restaurant industry for twenty years. His friends tease him about being a clerk after all these years. "Clerk Two!" he corrects them, smiling broadly.

He's a good-natured guy who looks like he's eaten a few too many of the hamburgers the company is famous for. Some of his friends are salesmen and managers, but most of them are as easy-going as he is; the most stressful time of his day is the fifteen minutes he spends in rush-hour traffic on the way to the bar for a beer with his buddies after work. His hairline has receded so far over the past decade that there's not enough left to comb.

Joe is in charge of the company's real estate records. When he started, it was a relatively simple job because there were only nine stores - that's what they call fast-food places these days - but after two decades of buying and selling properties, the company has accumulated enough documents to fill one floor of a warehouse. Joe is king of his domain; he prides himself on being able to find any piece of paper a vice president or director might need within four minutes.

But just this morning Joe got some alarming news from the woman who has been his boss for the last eight years. All the paper real estate records are going to be converted into electronic data over the next six months. And he's the one who will be converting them - under the watchful eyes of a new young hotshot. It turns out that, first of the month, he'll be part of a new information systems department reporting to a kid young enough to be his son.

He thought something was a little fishy yesterday when one of the VPs came through and introduced him to the new phenom, a kid who started out on the crew in one of the stores, then was promoted to store manager and then, within six months, moved up to district manager. Now it all made sense.

Jason Loveway, his boss told him. That's the kid's name. An IT expert. Joe doesn't remember a lot about him except that he had a bunch of gel in his hair, had earrings - in both ears - and was wearing black leather oxfords. And Joe wouldn't be surprised if there were a tattoo under the neck of his lime green shirt.

Joe was perfectly content with the job and the boss he had.

1. If you were Joe's coach, how might you use each one of the core principles - There's always a bridge; Curiosity is key; What you assume is what you get; Each individual is a culture; No strings attached - to help him connect with his new young boss?

Joe is having difficulty embracing change. Begin by letting Joe express his concerns. As he works through them, look for openings to engage his curiosity. Is there anything about the new plan or structure that piques his interest or presents possibilities for good things to come his way? Once you’ve identified an area in which he’s open to change, you may be able to expand it into curiosity about Jason. Jason will surely need Joe’s expertise in order to succeed. If Joe can see how crucial he is to Jason’s success, he may feel more secure with the change. That security could help him to open up even more. Then Joe might be able to see Jason as an individual rather than a pair of earrings with a human hooked up to them. Further, it would probably help for Joe to take a look at his current assumptions (most of them negative) about Jason and what the change means, and ask himself if those assumptions are likely to be helpful or get in the way. 

2. What questions would you ask Joe to determine which of the pathways - Clarify your intention; Notice your own reactions; Search for similarities; Use cues; Experiment and adjust - will be most helpful in overcoming obstacles to connecting with Jason?

“How would you describe Jason?” 

“What parts of your description are observable and factual, and what parts are inferences based on his appearance?” 

“How will your reactions to Jason and the proposed changes in the department help you or hinder you in adapting to the change?” 

“Given this change, what would be the best outcome you can imagine for the situation?”

“What is within your power to do to influence the outcome in a positive direction?”  “Is it your intention to do so?”

“How will you know if your approach is working?” (Experiment and adjust)

3. Step into third-person perspective - an outside observer - and give Jason advice abou how he might connect with Joe in their first week together.

“Jason, a good place to begin is to learn as much as you can about Joe and the contributions he has made to the department over the years. Draw Joe out and validate his experience and expertise. Let Joe know how much you respect and need him. Talk to him about his strengths and how you will tap into them. If Joe meets you halfway and contributes constructively, consider making him the subject matter expert for the data conversion.”

Case Study 3: Michele and the Data Wonks

Michele, now in her thirties, is a successful executive who has worked in pharmaceuticals since getting her MBA eight years ago. Michele's parents were activists in the sixties, and, when she was growing up, there were always interesting people gathered around the kitchen table. She loved spending time with them, discussing issues and challenging each other's values and beliefs.

Her big successes came in the marketing department. She enjoyed working with the creative types there; they batted ideas around, tried out marketing strategies on one another, and had a lot of fun.

Michele always looked like a million bucks. She goes to the best hair designer in town to get her cut and highlights, and she wears expensive, offbeat suits and heels.

Recently, the CEO promoted her, hoping her creativity might give the process improvement group a shot of energy. The first project she took on was the accounts-receivable process. In her new role, she's dependent on a handful of peopel she calls "data wonks." They're the ones who supply her with the numbers she needs. So far, the work is getting done, but it's not very satisfying.

Michele, who is Jewish, is offended by the way the data group mixes religion and business. "In the break room," she says, "they talk about their mission work as if everyone has a mission, and they listen to a Christian radio station in the office." She thinks they ought to keep that kind of thing to themselves.

When Michele tries to through out a dilemma or hypothetical situation, in the hope of stirring up interesting conversation, she gets nowhere. "There's no answer to those dilemmas," she tells us, "but they act like there is one clear right answer - and that it can be found in the Bible. They believe homosexuality is a sin; I just think gays make a group more diverse and interesting."

She's sure they don't approve of the way she dresses. "They probably think my skirt is too short and my heels are too high. I could go to a power lunch in New York City dressed the way I am. The only place they could go in their Dockers and t-shirts might be the golf course."

Michele admits she hasn't really sought them out. She just knows it wouldn't be an interesting conversation. "I miss the smart people and the rowdy dialogues in the marketing department. I think I need to take a transfer or just hunker down and do the work I'm good at."

1. What are the key differences here?

Creative and analytical types

Jewish and Christian

"Big picture” vs. detail thinking

2. Step into second-person perspective by looking at Michele through one of the data processor’s eyes. What are your impressions of her from this perspective?

"She is energetic and cares about her work. She dresses up in expensive clothes. She is aloof, and she seems to think she’s smarter and better than us.”

3. If you were helping her to clarify her intention in a way that would build a bridge, what might you propose?

We might float the possibility that Michele think of herself as an anthropologist assigned to study a newly discovered culture with characteristics never seen before in combination.  As an anthropologist, she must do her best to open her eyes and ears to the patterns of this new and exotic culture, to avoid imposing her values on the natives, and to suspend judgment. Her assignment is to use her creativity to move into their world rather than to distance herself.

4.  Michele has limited herself to two options for coping with her situation. What other options might she be missing?

She might challenge herself to use this situation to examine her own blind spot and to query her colleagues about their perceptions of her, seeking feedback that might help her become more effective.

Michele doesn’t seem to understand that her coworkers’ religious beliefs are important to them and provide great value in their lives. She’s too busy judging them as boring to know whether they are interesting or not. She’s missing the option of filling in the blanks in her perception of each person and what drives him or her.

At the same time, it would be reasonable for Michele to request—thoughtfully—that her coworkers play something other than Christian radio in the office; if they could work through this issue together, it might be a good first step in strengthening their connection.

5. If you view this scenario from third-person perspective, it’s easy to see the ways in which Michele is building barriers. What are some of them?

• judging her colleagues as uninteresting and unintelligent

• assuming she has nothing in common with them

• thinking of and dealing with them as a group rather than as individuals

6. If you were a coach working with Michele, what recommendations might you make to her?

We’d probably start by asking Michele to tell us about her values. We’re guessing that creativity and flexibility are important to her.  She expresses those qualities in most aspects of her life, but not in her response to the Data Wonks.  We’d ask her to find ways of being more creative and flexible in her approach to the individuals in the process improvement group. We might even send her on a scavenger hunt to discover three improbable facts about each group member. Whether she succeeds or not, the task will force her to look behind the veil of her generalizations about her colleagues.